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At Home​/​Not Home Pt​.​2

by Defne

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1.
Gingerly 03:19
I just wanted to see you I just wanted to kiss you I don't think you understand what I do To my myself For you Can you see the panic in my eyes As we sit across the dinner table? Your mom setting a bowl of soup in front of me Gingerly I don't think you understand What I do to myself For you Do you feel okay or just happy? Do you want to know why I can't sleep on my side? Do you want to know why I have little scabs on my hands? I fucked me up
2.
True north strong and free You mean everything to me Toutes tes gloires De la neige et les etoiles dans le soir True north strong and free Do this one thing for me Keep my toes cold, my nose red My heart broken And my empty bed Churning out the summer memories To name a few Nachos and lake water in my ears Salty tears and sweet beers The warmth of the sun on my back The warmth of the fire on my front Quiet kisses in the bedroom Snow at my ankles as I stare into the sky Mais c'est quoi ca? Green and yellow dancing on your face Suddenly I realize my eyes were out of place Nothing next to me at all Suddenly I become so small I am alone without a clue I wanted so to share this moment with you The northern lights are so rare In this part of the world I sit in the snow, my fingers in my lap curled Pressing nervously into my palms The northern lights are so rare In this part of the world
3.
Everybody wants perspective from a hill But everybody's wants can't make it past the windowsill I can see you in your room at night The pictures on your walls Little forest scenes and high school Halloweens But they don't come to you They don't come to you at all All houses dream in blueprints Our houses dream so hard Outside you can see my shoeprints I've been dreaming in your yard One of these days these days will end Through the kitchen window the light will bend You'll be carving a pumpkin with a knife When someone at the table says "That's not what I call life" The elephants are so ashamed of their size Hosing them down I tell them "You've got pretty eyes" When I was younger I used to make like I was a cowboy I'd set my dog before a hoop and say "Now boy, now boy!" When the governor's heart fails The state bird falls from its branch Icicles on hell's higher hills Meanwhile back home at the ranch I still get up early in the morning And I never knew a better place I believe the stars are the headlights of angels Driving from heaven to save us To save us Look at the sky They're driving from heaven into our eyes And final words are so hard to devise I promise that I'll always remember your pretty eyes Your pretty eyes
4.
Robin Hood 03:00
Oh, diamond thief in the night You gave me such a fright The pitter-patter of your tiny feet Oh, masked thief Your ears poking out of your cap Your paws stepping over every trap And are you the one? The one to steal it all back? I never thought that anyone could Are you my Robin Hood? Your hands around the jewel The greatest thrill I can't imagine how people could be so cruel Keeping these treasures for themselves But sometimes you gotta dust things Take them off of their shelves And are you the one? The one to steal it all back? I never thought that anyone could Are you my Robin Hood? My Robin Hood Steal it back, give it back Steal it back, give it back Steal it back
5.
1-2-3-4 My head is an atom A solar system of its own My eyes, they scare Just like a phantom's I'll never find my way home I follow the bluish black substance above The rain blotches on my glasses Guide me through alleys and doorways And longways and sideways and hallways I remember some little details like the ways you moved Your tangled hair and white patches on your teeth The small things, you just didn't care I was never your priority Your glassy eyes and Boring You were boring Now I'm free (probably) But my dreams are filled with Coffee stains and soft fingers At my windowpane I resolve you're the reason for my worn-down soles. You keep me so tangled up in sighs that I drag my feet.

credits

released February 12, 2014

Recorded in late January/early February 2014 in my apartment.

Tracks 1, 2, 4, & 5 written by Defne.
Track 3 written by David Berman.

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Defne Toronto, Ontario

Defne is a bedroom pop musician from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Their fragile songs of heartache and longing hum with the energy of anticipation. The spaces between falling snowflakes. A sideways glance across a crowded venue. Grass stains on the ankles of your jeans as you run home at 2 in the morning past darkened windows and empty playgrounds. ... more

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