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At Home​/​Not Home

by Defne

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1.
Pripyat 03:08
1986 My skin melted to his In the morning he spoke to me Whispery like a TV turned low Things I'll never understand 1986 The wind melted my bricks Left holes in my children's hearts Holes in my skin where his cut lips kissed The elephant's foot stamped out shapes in the sand Lines and circles I'll never understand 1986 Left wrapped in lead I swear I'll never know a breath like his Chernobyl II Show your face in the form of an arm's race
2.
Bathurst 03:28
Press your calloused hands to my back And feel it breaking Press your ears to my mouth and hear My teeth breaking Oh Things always feel like they fall at a divide If I kiss his face, will he remember? Here in the back the devil makes work for your idle hands So press me tightly around your boozy breath And tell me that you love me Callouses feel like sandpaper as they brush my cheeks Your eyelashes are little razors as they cut my fingers And my hipbones Oh Things always feel like they fall at a divide Numb and prickly cheeks always bring me back to December And if I kiss his face, will he remember? It was a cold month here in Ontario And I just can't seem to get away from the snow From the snow So press me down and wrap me in your lungs Your boozy breath and cigarettes will keep me warm Keep me warm
3.
St. George 03:12
There's no rush There's always another train So stay here a little longer And kiss me under the rumble of the St. George northbound The four points of this map that I have seen Eastbound, westbound, southbound, and north Traveling back and forth All those last goodbyes or farewells Hands in the cookie jar, teach me to spell Reading comes easy, you're like a book But how will I ever word or write or tell What you do to me with just one little look? Transfer station, never let me go How will I ever walk home in the snow? How will I ever live without your glow? Warm incandescence and stumbling around Your chiming mouth wakes me up Goodbyes and good luck
4.
Gold Leaf 02:58
We bought a house A few houses down from his And we're going to lose it And your brother, he's thrown another fit And your sister's thinking this is it So let's ride down to the riverside And there's always been that lingering smell And your mother, she rings the bell And the churches, they ring those bells And your sister said it was the end And he seemed to care But we found her in her underwear
5.
I saw the look in your eyes as you climbed out my window One foot after another Fall asleep in my backyard Try not to raise the dead I wanted to believe in something again But oh, your heart won't change

about

I recorded these late at night sitting in my bathtub with a shitty USB mic so nothing is perfect and everything is fuzzy.

credits

released October 23, 2013

All songs written and recorded by Defne.

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Defne Toronto, Ontario

Defne is a bedroom pop musician from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Their fragile songs of heartache and longing hum with the energy of anticipation. The spaces between falling snowflakes. A sideways glance across a crowded venue. Grass stains on the ankles of your jeans as you run home at 2 in the morning past darkened windows and empty playgrounds. ... more

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