At Home​/​Not Home Pt​.​2

by Defne

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released February 12, 2014

Recorded in late January/early February 2014 in my apartment.

Tracks 1, 2, 4, & 5 written by Defne.
Track 3 written by David Berman.



all rights reserved


Defne Saint Catharines, Ontario

Defne is a bedroom pop musician from Saint Catharines, Ontario, Canada. Her fragile songs of heartache and longing hum with the energy of anticipation. The spaces between falling snowflakes. A sideways glance across a crowded venue. Grass stains on the ankles of your jeans as you run home at 2 in the morning past darkened windows and empty playgrounds. ... more

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Track Name: Gingerly
I just wanted to see you
I just wanted to kiss you
I don't think you understand what I do
To my myself
For you

Can you see the panic in my eyes
As we sit across the dinner table?
Your mom setting a bowl of soup in front of me

I don't think you understand
What I do to myself
For you

Do you feel okay or just happy?
Do you want to know why I can't sleep on my side?
Do you want to know why I have little scabs on my hands?

I fucked me up
Track Name: Northern Lights
True north strong and free
You mean everything to me
Toutes tes gloires
De la neige et les etoiles dans le soir

True north strong and free
Do this one thing for me
Keep my toes cold, my nose red
My heart broken
And my empty bed

Churning out the summer memories
To name a few
Nachos and lake water in my ears
Salty tears and sweet beers
The warmth of the sun on my back
The warmth of the fire on my front
Quiet kisses in the bedroom

Snow at my ankles as I stare into the sky
Mais c'est quoi ca?
Green and yellow dancing on your face
Suddenly I realize my eyes were out of place
Nothing next to me at all
Suddenly I become so small
I am alone without a clue
I wanted so to share this moment with you

The northern lights are so rare
In this part of the world
I sit in the snow, my fingers in my lap curled
Pressing nervously into my palms
The northern lights are so rare
In this part of the world
Track Name: Pretty Eyes (Silver Jews cover)
Everybody wants perspective from a hill
But everybody's wants can't make it past the windowsill
I can see you in your room at night
The pictures on your walls
Little forest scenes and high school Halloweens
But they don't come to you
They don't come to you at all

All houses dream in blueprints
Our houses dream so hard
Outside you can see my shoeprints
I've been dreaming in your yard

One of these days these days will end
Through the kitchen window the light will bend
You'll be carving a pumpkin with a knife
When someone at the table says
"That's not what I call life"

The elephants are so ashamed of their size
Hosing them down I tell them "You've got pretty eyes"
When I was younger I used to make like I was a cowboy
I'd set my dog before a hoop and say "Now boy, now boy!"

When the governor's heart fails
The state bird falls from its branch
Icicles on hell's higher hills
Meanwhile back home at the ranch
I still get up early in the morning
And I never knew a better place

I believe the stars are the headlights of angels
Driving from heaven to save us
To save us
Look at the sky
They're driving from heaven into our eyes
And final words are so hard to devise
I promise that I'll always remember your pretty eyes
Your pretty eyes
Track Name: Robin Hood
Oh, diamond thief in the night
You gave me such a fright
The pitter-patter of your tiny feet
Oh, masked thief
Your ears poking out of your cap
Your paws stepping over every trap

And are you the one?
The one to steal it all back?
I never thought that anyone could
Are you my Robin Hood?

Your hands around the jewel
The greatest thrill
I can't imagine how people could be so cruel
Keeping these treasures for themselves
But sometimes you gotta dust things
Take them off of their shelves

And are you the one?
The one to steal it all back?
I never thought that anyone could
Are you my Robin Hood?

My Robin Hood
Steal it back, give it back
Steal it back, give it back
Steal it back
Track Name: "I wrote this when I was seventeen"
My head is an atom
A solar system of its own
My eyes, they scare
Just like a phantom's
I'll never find my way home

I follow the bluish black substance above
The rain blotches on my glasses
Guide me through alleys and doorways
And longways and sideways and hallways

I remember some little details like the ways you moved
Your tangled hair and white patches on your teeth
The small things, you just didn't care
I was never your priority

Your glassy eyes and
You were boring

Now I'm free (probably)
But my dreams are filled with
Coffee stains and soft fingers
At my windowpane

I resolve you're the reason for my worn-down soles.
You keep me so tangled up in sighs that I drag my feet.